the 'one thing'

sometime in 1974...probably a sunny Saturday morning~but then aren't all Saturday mornings in San Diego sunny?~ after we'd been inspired by so many 'day-dreaming' trips to Chase Maple and Pine in Chula Vista (home to 'outrageously gorgeous and with prices-to-match' furniture) we adjusted our expectations, checked our budget and set our sights on the much more affordable unfinished furniture stores lining El Cajon Boulevard near our favorite Pizza Hut.

We were about to make a very symbolic purchase.....no, not the pizza.....although I'm sure we ate at that Pizza Hut that day.  You see, we'd been married three years and had recently reunited and recommitted to one another after a 9 month separation and intense individual and couple's counseling.  Because of the 'transitional' nature of our first three years, we'd lived in a combined total of 5 rental situations up to this point and so we'd just rented furniture along the way, as well.

Today we were going to make our first major furniture purchase: a table.  I'm sure we just thought we were buying a 'place to eat meals' as an alternative to sitting on the floor or on the couch in front of the TV.  Yeah, wouldn't that be what you'd be thinking?  How many of us actually get philosophical when buying furniture, really?

So we purchased an unfinished, round table with a substantial claw-footed base.  Should have picked up the sandpaper and stain on the way home....but the call of the pizza was probably way too compelling.

We threw a bed sheet over it and there it remained, unstained, for a year.  It was only the 'threat' of having friends over for Thanksgiving dinner that year that motivated us to uncover this beauty and finish the project.

 

That table has been with us 40 years, has traveled many miles, graced the kitchens of our 6 abodes during that time.  The chairs that have surrounded it have come and gone....but that table, well, it's 'family'.

 

In Shauna Niequist's book Bread and Wine, she describes 'the table' in a way that has come to have a lot of meaning to us:

 

"The table is the life raft, the center point,

the home base of who we are together." (p.30)

 

And when you think about all the things that happen 'around the table' you can see why that metaphor is apropos.  Our family archive of photographs, which documents our journey, features countless pictures in which this table is displaying birthday cakes, Thanksgiving and Christmas gathering dinners, and science fair projects.  You can almost mark Laura's, Allyson's and Brian's ages by the heights they were when photographed standing near the table.  One picture, a favorite of mine, captures our Easter egg-dying experience around that table when all three of our darlin's had chickenpox.

 

Good talks....hard talks were had at this table.  Tears were shed, problems were hashed out. Feelings were hurt at this table and forgiveness was asked and given and reconciliation occurred around this table.  Sometimes ones left this table in anger, slamming footsteps echoing into another room.  But they always came back and come back still.  Like you'd return to a life raft, considering the alternative.

 

It was around this table that Rob and I would work out the family budget, on green bar ledger paper, before the advent of computers.  Some of the budgets had more 'red' than 'black', but never once did we miss a meal or a house payment.  God's Grace and His Provision has been, and continues to be, abundant in this place.

 

During the season of 2002-2004, our table was the site of mapping out wedding budgets and the 'staging area' for the mailing of invitations, reception table centerpieces and the wrapping of gifts as our family grew in size and love as first, Allyson, then Brian followed by Laura each joined their lives to another.

 

We've gathered in their homes, around their 'life rafts', and we sense the same quality of 'welcome' and 'you're family' that we would hope anyone feels when they come into our home.  That's a good thing.

 

These days our 'life raft' is most often the setting for a simple meal for two, as the afternoon sun fills the room.  It serves as a comfortable gathering place for the pre-marital counseling and marriage mentoring that we do.......over 100 couples have joined us here over the past 10 years.  It still gets to be the 'staging area' when a long-anticipated road trip or camping weekend is in sight, as well.  And frequently it's graced with the sticky fingerprints of small, eager hands......bits of play-doh, crayons, paper airplanes, and magical drawings......delightful and precious reminders that our family, and the experiences around our 'life raft' continue to grow in size and the capacity to give and receive love.

 

I'd love to know what story this table would tell, if it could. 

I want to remember all the details. I've tried to imagine it

here, but I'm sure I fall short.

 

Where's your 'life raft'?  Can you hear the story it's trying to tell?

2nd Chances....

Today my wife, Cathie, and I celebrated the 40th anniversary of our reunion, our 2nd chance at marriage, after 9 months of legal separation that ended March 31st, 1974. We paused to humbly remember, say a prayer of thanksgiving, and celebrate a meal with our children, their spouses, and our grandchildren. It is often easier to believe in 2nd chances for others than it is for yourself, certainly that was the way it was for me back then. While today we serve a God of 2nd chances, until it is personally experienced in the arena of life, the appreciation and understanding of what forgiveness and redemption means in a life, a marriage, a family, can be lost. With God’s intervention in my life, our lives, some solid Baptist marriage counseling, encouragement from my father, and my friend, Ted Shown, my wife and I journeyed through a horribly dark and emotionally wrenching time to get to a point to be able to start our marriage again. A ‘do-over’ where the awareness of what was almost lost was keenly felt and acknowledged, as if we could actually peer over the edge of the precipice into which we almost fell.

I say this to encourage you, to always be asking God “what am I to be learning from this experience?” It could be most anything…. life, marriage, work, children. As it’s said, God never wastes a hurt. I believe that all life experiences are to mature us spiritually. 

Thank you Jesus, my Lord, for what you did, are doing, and will do in my, and our, life. I humbly acknowledge that You redeemed my marriage, and I am deeply grateful. Please keep the experience fresh and in the forefront of my awareness all the days of my life. You are an Awesome God!

 

Oh, what a beautiful morning......

Our sweet kids and grandkids, knowing that we enjoy learning, having new experiences and touching the great outdoors....oh, and wine........ gifted us with the opportunity to learn and participate in the growth and nurture of our very own grape-producing vine, which we've dubbed as 'Stanley' (there you go, brother!).  So today we visited Whispering Vines for the first time, received instruction in pruning (counting vines from main trunk, recognizing good producing shoots from not-so-good, cutting on an angle just under the third node, etc.), tagged Stanley, a hearty cabernet sauvignon producer, and thoroughly enjoyed this beautiful morning and this new venture.  Even got to hear a train in the distance, so, you know, that made our day!

it's a 'wrap'!

We carefully planned out our
last full day with Silas and
Cora to make sure
that we'd be able to include the
remaining
activities on the 'things to do
this week' list.

 So we were at Hunter Park for some hook-baiting
and casting
and waiting and watching and
long enough to
see some fish-loving birds
getting the fish that we weren't.

We told Silas that sometimes you catch a fish
and sometimes you catch a memory.  He seemed
good with that.  And the sunshine was so good
that everybody was happy.

Then we headed to Brookside
and ordered frosty mugs of root beer floats
with a side of corn dogs for lunch.

Chillin'

This corn dog for Silas turned
out to be an appetizer.  He ate two more
of them once we got home!

Uncle Brian, Aunt Lara and
Cousin Blake came
from Tahlequah for some play
 time in the afternoon.

 The kids ended up 'wearing' as much bubble
solution as they used to blow bubbles!

Blake was smiling
all afternoon and added
a new word
to his rapidly growing vocabulary:
BUBBLES!

Silas loved 'feeding the fire' with
handfuls of dried leaves.

Cousin Love!

Everybody got in on the 'sandbox action'!

Time to toast marshmallows!

One crispy critter!

A curious boy and the good earth........

........nothing finer.  Really needs no words, right?

While we created dinner, they created
with Play-doh......everybody has a job.

Silas made a Welcome Home Flower
for Dad and Mom.

happy hump day!

 

Enjoyed a lovely, lazy day at home, building with Legos, flying paper airplanes, reading stories, playing baseball, blowing bubbles and eating.......oh, and a promised trip to Braum's was a hit!

Silas proclaimed, 'Introducing Mr. Lime Sherbet!"

Yep, that about sums it up!

 

"Batter, batter, batter...."

Everyone got in on the act.

 

She's really getting into this.

Buddies catching rays.

Just because.....

warming....windy....and outside!!!

After Sunday's cold temps
Monday morning's sunshine
welcomed us out into
the backyard!

Two busy, active days of 'catching up' to do on the activities of these two....some days there's neither time nor energy left to be creative here after being creative here and here and here and here.

Can you 'dig' it?  I can!

Our traveling gnome has moved again!
Of course, Silas was the first to spot him!

Later in the day, everyone enjoyed
some online math games.  We think
Silas may have a calculator hidden in
that brain of his!

Naturally, the day included a game of Cootie.....playing with the same game pieces that we used when we played with Silas's and Cora's mom and their Aunt Laura and Uncle Brian.

Tuesday morning we 'hit the road', as in Route 66,
and visited the famed Blue Whale in Catoosa.  Lots of places
to climb and explore.

Brave Cora!!

This 'still shot' belies
the skill needed for
this pieces of equipment: these red
poles aren't static, but rather swinging
with the wind and weight of the child. 
Way to go, Silas!
 

Then we stopped by LaFortune Park, as did most of the rest of Tulsa, and took our turn on the playground.

Taking a break....having a chat!

This spinning toy was, by far,
Silas's favorite!

'Sibling sliders' 



While Cora napped, Silas and I
took an 'adventure walk' over near
Hunter Park.  You see, Silas and
his Dad and Mom have a camping
trip planned in a couple of months and
Silas wanted to be prepared with plenty
of kindling for the campfire.  So be prepared,
Dad and Mom, your 'in-house' stick finder
has you well-stocked in that department. 

We also foundpockets full of pecans, so we brought them back for
some pecan-cracking fun.  There would have been a lot more
in the bag we were saving for you, Mom and Dad, but, we....uh
ate a few....quite a few.

 More sandbox play and two
pots full of 'stone soup' with
a dash of sand, pinch of humus, a cup of leaves and cup of chickweed (stirred carefully) rounded out a good day!
 

Pop's little helper even assisted in some
'between stone' cleanup!